“Soulmate” is definitely a dreamy and romantic idea to most. Whether it is believable, however, depends on how it is defined. One of the popular definitions of the term ‘soulmate’ is that there’s one person out there that is destined for each and every one of us, i.e. there’s a Miss A out there for a Mr. B. Given this definition, I can say with much certainty that the odd that these two people will find each other is not very good. How can you find that one person from the six billions of them out there? Even if you limit yourself to your own city of residence, the odd is still against you. There are about 4 million people in Los Angeles. Assuming the gender proportion is about 50-50 and that you are interested in finding a soulmate of different gender than you, the odd is still about 1 in 2 millions.
Moreover, when you meet a person, how do you know that he/she is your soulmate? Given the above definition, you can conclude that the person is your soulmate only if you believe that there’s no one else out there who fits you more perfectly, or if you expect that there’s no one else with whom you can be more deeply in love. How can you commit if you expect a better match? A counterfactual proof – proof by contradiction – may work. Break up with that person. If you still long for him/her afterwards or if you can’t find anyone who better suits you, then he/she must be your soulmate. The proving process could be painful but it’s definitely a way.
If it is unlikely that you would find your soulmate and it is not easy to prove whether you have actually found one, how can people claim so?
I believe that there’s a group of people* – not just one – whom you get along with or relate yourself to more conveniently than the rest of the world. To quote a friend of mine, it is a group of people who “operate at the same wavelength.” But, no matter how well you and the other person suit each other, there’s no perfect fit. There are times when adjustments are needed, sacrifices made, and deals negotiated. Through these adjustments and negotiations, a partnership is formed and tightened until the two people accepts each other and cannot imagine adjusting or sacrificing to anyone else.
The making of soulmates might not sound as romantic as the finding of one but it sure is more likely to happen and can be proved by induction. You work with one person until you can conclude whether he or she is your soulmate.
Soulmates are made, not found.
(*The size of such group depends on one’s specifications. A Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolie is rarer to come by. If you want someone with an MBA degree, I have recently read that there are about 500,000 of them on earth.)
P.S. I was writing the first draft of this essay right before a friend of mine announced to me that she’s getting married to someone she believes is the right one for her. I would like to dedicate this essay to the couple.
If it is unlikely that you would find your soulmate and it is not easy to prove whether you have actually found one, how can people claim so?
I believe that there’s a group of people* – not just one – whom you get along with or relate yourself to more conveniently than the rest of the world. To quote a friend of mine, it is a group of people who “operate at the same wavelength.” But, no matter how well you and the other person suit each other, there’s no perfect fit. There are times when adjustments are needed, sacrifices made, and deals negotiated. Through these adjustments and negotiations, a partnership is formed and tightened until the two people accepts each other and cannot imagine adjusting or sacrificing to anyone else.
The making of soulmates might not sound as romantic as the finding of one but it sure is more likely to happen and can be proved by induction. You work with one person until you can conclude whether he or she is your soulmate.
Soulmates are made, not found.
(*The size of such group depends on one’s specifications. A Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolie is rarer to come by. If you want someone with an MBA degree, I have recently read that there are about 500,000 of them on earth.)
P.S. I was writing the first draft of this essay right before a friend of mine announced to me that she’s getting married to someone she believes is the right one for her. I would like to dedicate this essay to the couple.
2 comments:
Totally agree..."Soulmates are made, not found."
However, eventhough it is extremely unlikely for two souls to be a perfect match by birth, I think it is undeniable to say that "there is a soul out there who is willing to adjust and compromise to make our souls a perfect match and vice versa."
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